Last week, I was reading about posthumous execution.

In a nutshell, a person dies, but you hate them so much that you have them dug up, desecrated, defiled and otherwise fucked up, just to make you feel better about yourself. Often, this would take the form of public “torture”, complete with mock trials.

For example, the Cadaver Synod of Pope Formosus in 897:

Pope Stephen VI, the successor of Boniface, influenced by Lambert and Agiltrude, sat in judgment of Formosus in 897, in what was called the Cadaver Synod. The corpse was disinterred, clad in papal vestments, and seated on a throne to face all the charges from John VIII. The verdict was that the deceased had been unworthy of the pontificate. The Damnatio memoriae, an old judicial practice from the Ancient Rome was applied to Formosus and all his measures and acts were annulled, and the orders conferred by him were declared invalid. The papal vestments were torn from his body, the three fingers from his right hand that he had used in consecrations were cut off and the corpse was thrown into the Tiber (and later retrieved by a monk). [source]

Good times, right? It’s even immortalized in art.

My current favorite is the exhumation and punishment of Oliver Cromwell’s corpse:

In 1661, Oliver Cromwell’s body was exhumed from Westminster Abbey, and was subjected to the ritual of a posthumous execution, as were the remains of John Bradshaw and Henry Ireton. (The body of Cromwell’s daughter was allowed to remain buried in the Abbey.) Symbolically, this took place on 30 January; the same date that Charles I had been executed. His body was hanged in chains at Tyburn. Finally, his disinterred body was thrown into a pit, while his severed head was displayed on a pole outside Westminster Hall until 1685. Afterwards the head changed hands several times, including the sale in 1814 to a man named Josiah Henry Wilkinson,[88][89] before eventually being buried in the grounds of Sidney Sussex College, Cambridge, in 1960.

Here’s his head:

An eyewitness, Samuel Sainthill wrote: “they were hanged by the neck from morning. Cromwell in a green seare cloth, very fresh embalmed; Ireton….hung like a dried rat.” Mmm, dried rat. NOM!

I’d heard about in the news a few weeks ago ago a woman in Iran that had been blinded by acid, thrown in her face by a jilted wannabe suiter. In the subsequent trial, she had pleaded that, as punishment, he should have acid dropped into his eyes and be blinded as well. An “eye for an eye”, literally.

Yesterday, I saw that a verdict in the trial had been reached, finding in favor of the woman and when handing down the sentence, the judge actually agreed with the woman and ordered the man to have a drop of acid placed in each eye and be blinded. Hot DAMN!

To quote:

TEHRAN, Iran (CNN) — An Iranian woman, blinded by a jilted stalker who threw acid in her face, has persuaded a court to sentence him to be blinded with acid himself under Islamic law demanding an eye for an eye.

Ameneh Bahrami refused to accept “blood money.” She insisted instead that her attacker suffer a fate similar to her own “so people like him would realize they do not have the right to throw acid in girls’ faces,” she told the Tehran Provincial Court.

Her attacker, a 27-year-old man identified in court papers as Majid, admitted throwing acid in her face in November 2004, blinding and disfiguring her. He said he loved her and insisted she loved him as well. [Full article]

A photo of the victim and douche who did the deed:

Do I see a slight physical resemblance to Richard Ramirez in the guy?

The thing I find the most ridiculous about this him is that:

Majid said he was still willing to marry Bahrami, but she ruled out the possibility and urged that he remain locked up.

Gee, thanks Majid. You’re a champ!

I can’t decide if this acid-blinding punishment is sick and fucked up or totally awesome.

On one end, it’s the fucking 21st century and a government is dropping acid into a man’s eyeball. Granted, he did some really bad shit, but still.

On the flip side, there’s a lot of acid throwing going on over there and often, the guy gets away with it completely. So, it’s nice to see someone drop the hammer on the guy in a way that’s getting some serious attention.

Right smack dab in the middle is the morbid fucker in me, that can’t stop thinking how cool it has to look. Strapping some guy down, immobilizing his head, retracting the eyelids and making that motherfucker scream. Quite the good mental picture.

I suppose it’s just a matter of time before there’s a Metal band out there with the name, “Acid Eye”.

I’ve posted once so far this year. It used to be that I had a rule of updating at least once a week. What happened? What have I been doing?

Lately I’ve found it hard to muster the concentration to sit and write anything, as I’m sure you’ll note as the last several posts are primarily just embedded video. Also, I’ve spent much more time on various micro-blogging sites, like twitter and such (I’m on nearly everything). Services like those really cater to the semi-retarded ADD freak in me.

I also hate looking at my site. It’s outdated and cramped and I’ve not had the concentration or motivation to whip out a new design. Excuses, excuses…excuses.

So what have I been doing?

• I attended 45 concerts in 2008. 5 so far this year.
• I took lots of photos.
• I started doing yoga, which is mildly embarrassing to my manly ego, but whatever. I’ll live.
• I discovered a TON of new music, which I have failed to post about like I used to.
• I’ve watched an impressive amount of Horror films and , like above, failed to post.
• The rest… pretty much the same.

Thrilling stuff, kids. I’m a lazy lamerz. I have no excuse.

Still, it really bothers me that this site just rots here on it’s server. So, I promise to get off my ass and back to posting at least once a week. It’s good for me. The redesign…god help me. I’ll do it when I do it.

I’m hungry already. Really.

Horrifying, yet hypnotic. David Lynch would pop a chub on this.

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I think I have to award this video as the most badass commercial of 2008. Clowns and Kung Fu, you can’t go wrong. It’s brilliant.

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Some days, when the weather is shitty, like this morning and all the rain, I gotta break out dome Barbarian Brothers to get my mood back up.

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You feel better now, right? Don’t lie.

The below video, near precisely describes my feelings and attitude today.

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My feelings precisely. I’ve never purchased any music, crippled with DRM and I never will. Instead, I use emusic to legally purchase MP3 files and if i can’t find it there, I get it by “other means” and I don’t even remotely feel bad about it. Chances are, if I ganked your album, I paid for at least one of your live shows and possibly bought a t-shirt as well.

[comic from xkcd.com]

Moral of the story? Dummies buy DRM!

This couldn’t have been edited and framed better. Brilliant.

[Link to video]