Over the past 4 years, daveb as slowly been weaning various bad habits out of his life. Some happened on their own, like quitting weed and drinking to excess. Others, like quitting cigarettes took herculean efforts. For the past three days, daveb has been struggling with his latest project, quitting sugar and starch.

Now before you label daveb as one of those miserable, monastic bastards with no joy in his life, understand that he wants to be able to do everything for a long time to come. However, he has a bit of a nervous and addictive personality, one that attracts habits that will likely put him six feet under sooner than he’d like. His thinking is, kill all of these “habits”, like drinking, sugar, smoking weed, etc. so that once you have them removed from your life, you can reintroduce them in sane and measured amounts. Moderation, people, it’s the new black for daveb. He envisions going back to Vermont for vacations, getting off the plane and immediately cracking a beer, a candy bar, a bag of Fritos and a huge-ass blunt with a cigar for later. Other drugs and snack foods would be highly welcome. After two or three days of wretched, blurry debauchery, daveb would wipe the greasy crumbs from his eyebrows, hop the plane back to NYC and back to the normal lifestyle.

Quitting sugar and starch is not as easy at it seems. Daveb is a hardcore addict of both. He’s definitely felt pangs similar to nicotine withdrawal along with headaches, hypoglycemia, bitchiness and a general malaise. These symptoms only reinforce his belief that his body is far too dependant upon sugars and starches for feelings of well-being. Rather than live his life as a reactive lab rat only to croak in his mid-thirties of a massive coronary, daveb thinks it’s probably a better idea to nip this shit in the bud.

It all sounds nice, but it’s fucking hard to do. Every day, daveb leaves his office walking anywhere from a couple to several blocks, looking for lunch. 99.9% of the foods and smells he encounters here in Manhattan reside on his “big fat NO” list. But whatever, the worst part is just these two weeks. After that, as long as daveb plays nicely, the occasional Krispy Kreme will be acceptable.

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