I was reading in the news this morning that Sichuan Airlines in China will now require it’s flight attendants to have martial arts training as part of their prerequisites.

To work as a flight attendant, young women, for the first time in the country, are to be required to have martial arts skills, sources close to Sichuan Airlines confirmed this week.

Next Thursday, the airline is to recruit 70 hostesses from Chengdu and Chongqing to work for a new flight route from Chengdu to Seoul in South Korea.

One of the priority conditions for candidates will reportedly be knowledge of kung fu, as staff with such experience are believed to be able to help the airlines further secure its aviation safety.

I think this is the best fucking idea I’ve heard in a long time. Screw air marshalls with low-impact guns. Screw those motherfucking snakes on the motherfucking plane—give me deadly kung-fu bitches on a plane any day!

I can just imagine some dude jumping up with his Gatorade-and-Ipod bomb, all ready to blow things to pieces, only to have both his arms broken and larynx torn out by the stewardess, who then calmly returns to doling out little packages of peanuts. Now that’s an airline with balls!

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