Perhaps the greatest, manliest, John Wayne-type true grit site I’ve ever seen on the internet: mredepot.com. Selling non-perishable food and supplies for the survivalist, in the event of of disaster, the coming of Armageddon, camping, or for those who are just plain batshit-crazy (like myself).

They carry everything from ready-to-eat bacon in a can (I repeat with emphasis: MOTHERFUCKING BACON IN A MOTHERFUCKING CAN!!!) to collapsible batons, pepper spray, portable toilets and gas-powered generators. Everything you need to ride out the end of the world in style.

It’s a one-stop shopping mecca. You’ve got whole chickens in a can, some dehydrated pork chops (mmm…*drool*), cases of beef in gravy and for dessert, some canned cake and several choices of pudding! It’s a redneck recipe for utter fucking success!

GAAAAAHH!!! I must order!!! I must kill!!! I must dig a hole, eat some bacon and ride the shit out!!!

Look at this…just look at it:

This a a bacon cheeseburger, beer and onion rings from a bar called Royale in on Avenue C and 10th Street. I popped in there yesterday afternoon, prior to a mammoth evening of two concerts in a row. Since I’d be missing dinner, I wanted to have a rather big lunch. It was the third time I’ve been there. I ordered the same thing I’ve had each time.

Why?

Because it fucking rules. There’s a sign out in front of the place, declaring “Best Burger In NYC”. Whether that statement is entirely true or not, I don’t know, but I do know that it’s one of three burger places in New York (the others being Stand and Schnack) that I personally think are the best I’ve had so far.

This place definitely has the best onion rings I’ve eaten in my life. I don’t particularly like onion rings, being more of a french fry person, but these kick ass.

If you’re in Manhattan, around that area, try it. Do it, if only because I told you to.

Maple…fucking…bacon…lollipops. Made with organic bacon and Vermont maple syrup. (Whatever, Vt. syrup is no better than any other, be it Canadian or anywhere else in New England and the large bottling companies have been caught a fair number of times diluting the stuff with beet sugar, but I digress…) I’d totally try one, but I don’t think the interest is strong enough to actually go through ordering them online.

Holy Jesus Juice!

A cup made out of bacon!

I’m in love.

Entombing food in lexan containers for a year or longer is a brilliant idea. Check here and here for an awesome set of photos of a raw egg and a slice of bacon, 365 days down the road. It looks fucking tasty. Honestly, I’ve had some breakfast sandwiches at some of these Manhattan delis that really don’t look that far off from what’s pictured. It just needs ketchup. Eat it.