True to his word, daveb has dispatched an email to Pope Benedict XVI. As to who actually reads or responds is anyone’s guess, but rest assured, if by chance any response is received, it will be dutifully posted.

Date: Sun, 24 Apr 2005 11:48:46 -0700 (PDT)
From: “pope_me amadeus”
Subject: Congrats Pope
To: benedictxvi@vatican.va

Hi Pope,

I just wanted to say thank you for being Pope. Maybe people make fun of you because Benedict is your name, but I like Benedict. If I see people make fun, I beat them with a stick. Maybe you should change it to Benny. Pope Benny is cool. You could wear sunglasses. Do you already? I like sunglasses but people tell me I look like a girl when I wear them and I have to beat them with a stick to make them go away.

I read somewhere that you like cookies and cats. So do I! That’s so cool. I really like it when my Mother makes cat shaped cookies. She tells me that she grinds up the neighbors cats and bakes them, but I think she is just making that up to keep me from eating so much. I weigh almost 380 pounds. Many people point and laugh at me saying I am a fat no good lard ass. It’s okay because I hit very hard with a stick.

Well I have to go and clean myself. I will write again soon. Oh, I don’t want to go to hell either. My mom says gluttony is one of the deadly sins but I tell her the doc told me it’s hormonal. I am doing the best that I can.

I will write again soon.

Your number one fan,
Pepe

Here’s hoping there’s a response!

This afternoon, daveb was thrilled to notice that the official Vatican website publishes the email address of the new Pope. Finally, a place to forward all those dirty office jokes, deranged drug-addled ramblings and illucid, slightly threatening and pronographic self portraits.

Granted, there’s likely a cadre of people that filter through the Pope’s email and it’s anone’s guess as to whether he actually responds or even reads them. But hey, fuck it. Daveb’s going to reach out and squeeeze the Pope.

In the meanwhile, feel free to contact him yourself. Email Pope Benedict XVI at benedictxvi@vatican.va.

Remember, Satan is our Lord and Master.

To be continued…