What a way to start off your kid’s school day:

A daycare in a North York elementary school was under lockdown this morning after a bizarre incident in which a man was found dangling from a tree and impaled by a metal stake.

A parent dropping off a child at Roywood Public School - in the York Mills Rd. and Victoria Park Ave. area - called 911 after spotting the man hanging from a small tree at the back of the school around 7:30 a.m., Toronto Police say.

When emergency crews arrived on the scene, they found the man, believed to be in his 40s, impaled through his “rectal area” by one of the metal posts that were supporting the young tree at its base. [Read more]

What a pain in the ass.

I thought I was emotionally scarred by school, but up against this guy’s query, I’m starting to questions that. I traced this guy’s IP address to NJ. Why all my nastiest questions seem to come from that state, I’ll make no guesses, but you New Jersey people are some fucked up puppies.

dano wrote:

Q:

Is it true that my high school english teacher used to sexually stimulate herself by putting tuna fish in her vagina and then having her cats eat it?

A: My first reaction to your question was “mmm…tuna” , followed by a “Wait…what? Whoa!” and as I now write this post, I’ll admit that I’m eating a tuna-melt on whole wheat and my faithful cat George is staring at me with a look of near mutiny. Such is the power of canned fish.

In answer to your question, of course she did. Who wouldn’t? It’s tuna, fer’ chrissakes. That’s it’s primary purpose on Spaceship Earth. Shoving tuna into vaginas to feed pets is as American as apple pie not to mention a wonderful bonding experience for you and your furry little buddy. I recommend you run right home and try it yourself. If you don’t have a vagina, get one.

I think the real question here is whether the tuna was dolphin-safe. I mean, if it wasn’t…that’s fucked up.

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