This kid, whether he ends up President or convict, is definitely going to grow up to be somebody special.

A 13 year old from Texas who stole his Dad’s credit card and ordered two hookers from an escort agency, has today been convicted of fraud and given a three year community order.

…Police said they were alerted to the motel by a concerned delivery clerk, whom after delivering supplies of Dr Pepper, Fritos and Oreos had been asked by the kids where they could score some chicks and were willing to pay. They explained they had just made a big score at a “World of Warcraft” tournament and wanted to get some relaxation. On noting the boys age the delivery clerk informed the authorities.

…When police arrived at the motel they found $3,000 in cash, numerous electronic gadgets, an Xbox video console with numerous games, and the two local escort girls.

…Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a “World of Warcraft” tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

…The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played “Halo” on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services.

…Ralph’s ambition is to one day become a politician.

[Link to full article]

Let me tell you… this Ralph kid has some serious fucking balls. If only I’d known somebody that fucking cool when I was that age.

I often forget the fact that youtube (or the internet in general) has nearly everything that was ever on film or video during my childhood and adolescent years (at the very least a clip of it), archived a click away.

Today I rediscovered, “Entering Texas”, a short film by the Butthole Surfers that occupied my life when I was about 15 or 16. Back in those days, VHS was king, so it was up to the cool kids who ordered the films or at least made a decent copy. I must have watched this shit like 200 or so times, mostly high and hallucinating:

[Link to video]