This morning, I left my Apartment of Doom and hit the street, heading for the subway. As I exited my building, I noticed this sketchy guy hanging out near the trash bins. he wasn’t homeless looking but kind of shabby and shady. He had a ten speed propped against the side of the building and was in the process of putting on a mismatched pair of dirty, old latex rubber gloves. I’m thinking that maybe the guy’s diving for cans to redeem, but I notice he doesn’t have any bags or anything to haul bottles and cans in. What I do notice is that the guy had a black nylon file case tucked under his arm.

I walked to the mailbox to drop off a Netflix DVD and stopped. Something just wasn’t right. So, I turned back and watched the guy from a few feet away. Sure enough, after the gloves were on, he started going through the building’s trash bins, looking through discarded mail and other papers he could find. The fuckwad was looking to boost someone’s identity, maybe get a credit card in their name or some other bullshit. I wish I had my camera with me so I could have grabbed a photo of the shithead. I figured there was no point in calling the cops, since going through trash left street-side is not illegal and if I’d said anything to the guy, he’d have either tripped on me or just biked off to some other building.

I’m really glad there’s a paper shredder at home. I destroy all my mail, except for the junk shit, along with anything else that might have any sensitive information in it. If you don’t have a shredder…get one.